While it is finishing / bitirirken

16 Tem

This is last essay. I want to finish en English. It was one month ago, I made a speech about me. Because,  My tutor Sheetal wanted it me. Firstly  I refused this suggestion but she persuaded me that I would make a speech.  I created my poster, Sheetal helped me. We didn’t explain my name and we put question mark  and we wrote ” Who am I ?” On the poster.  I prepaired some vocabulary that it was meaning of my name’s and I wrote those vocabulary on the contruction papers and I fixed on the board as spreading. I sat between students that I was speaking day. Firstly, Sheetal  told about this idea and then called me. 

This is that my speaking.

                Who Am I ? 
Last week, teacher Jefrey wrote down on the board and asked to us this question. “Who am I?”  It was good question. 
Do you know who you are? 
When I was 9 years old first time I learnt something about Charles Darwin and Darwinism. And I’m sure everybody know him. If you don’t know him, he is father of evaluation. After learning about him I asked myself many questions. 
Also when I was child, I was looking to sky, the stars and space, I have same questions. 
Who am I? Who is human? What is humanity? Where do humans came from? What is the meaning of life? 
I looked for this answers in my life.  I read Kuran, I read Tevrat, Bible, I read Hinduism, Lamaisim. I did meditation and I still yoga. Im interested about the human body, I’m interested about  the human mind. I’m interested about nature. I’m interested in the rights of Human Beings, woman, animals and the environment. I believe that we have to live together. 
Why did I choose to come in South Africa do you know? 
Two years ago I watched a TV program about here. They talked about English students. That time I formed an opinion. I can go there. I want to learn English because I felt half person in my life. I tried to teach myself. I bought many books, I applied to learn online but never used those materials. I’m not disciplinarian people. I made decision. I had to go to an English speaking country.
I came here, because South Africa is young country, they had a lot of experience about democracy. I’m sure you know the history of SA. They live together, Muslim-Christian-atheist-Indian people, black people, homosexual people. I can say many things. This is rainbow country like my dream. 
I have a dream, one day we will live together and respect to each other without war. 
Respect, I think this word is the most important. If we have respect we can solve many problems. I want to share one of my story. It was 15 years ago, one day I went to shopping, I would buy new clothes. The shop assistant was coming towards me, I felt he was gay. I turned back and I walked the other way. After that I felt a shamed. That time I changed all my opinions. Everybody can choice how to live. If you are Muslim you want to live tradition Muslim you can. If I’m atheist, I want to live different, I can. We have to protect each other rights. We have to show respect other people. If I respect other people, I think other people will respect me. And I think they will love me. 
Love, I think every body has love. Also me. I love children, I love nature, I love animals, I love to life, I love fall in love, andI fell.  If you fall in love many times you can improve your life. I fell in love with Jewish man. I fell in love with a man who was 21 years older than me, I fell in love whit someone with a disorder, but everybody has the ability to love. They love me. I grew with them. 
Physical appearance isn’t important, religion isn’t important, skin color, origin, age are not important. Rather the most important is the ability to LOVE. 
I went to Gugulethu Orphanage have you been there? 
There are almost 20 children without a family. Oh my God, every child is beautiful. I think some of my friends have children. Who has children? 
I don’t have children. It’s my choice. I don’t want Tao raise baby. Because life is unsafe. One day if I feel ready, I will adapted a child or children. 
YES, I’m brave, Yes I’m adventurous. I couldn’t speak English when I came to Cape Town. Before I thought when I there I would have many experience. And I did. I lived with Malay family, I lived with Jewish family, now I’m living with two gay. 
I discover Cape Town and Its surroundings. I discovered many cultures foods. And I did many different things. I can say I open minded, and I’m proud of myself.   :))
I’m 45, I feel so young because I’m learning about everything all the time. I try to be ” Either exist as I am be as I look” from Mevlana a Turkish philosopher; and I try to be ” live as if I will die tomorrow, learn as if I will live forever” from Gandhi. I don’t want to have any regrets in my life. I like this poem. I want to share it with you. 
(By Jorge Luis Borges)
If I could live again my life, 
In the next-I’ll try, 
    -to make more mistakes, 
I won’t try to be so perfect, 
I’ll be more relaxed
I’ll be more full-than I’m now,
In fact, I’ll take fewer things seriously
I’ll be less hygienic,
I’ll take more trips,
I’ll watch more sunsets,
I’ll climb more mountains,
I’ll swim more rivers
I’ll go to more places-I never been,
I’ll eat more ice creams and less (lime) beans.
I’ll have more real problems-and less imaginary ones,
I was one of those people who live prudent and prolific lives-
                                                                         each minute of his life
Of course that I had moments of joy-but, 
I could go back I’ll try to have only good moments, 
If you don’t know-that life is made of, 
Don’t lose the now!
I was one of those who never goes anywhere
 Without a thermometer,
Without a hot water bottle,
and without an umbrella and without a parachute,
If I could live again – I will travel light,
If I could live again – I’ll try to work bare feet at the beginning of spring till
                                        the end of autumn,
I’ll ride more carts,
I’ll watch more sunrise and play with more children,
If I have the life to live- but now I’m 85
-and I know that I’m dying.
And Now,
I think I know Who am I ? 
If you look first letters of all words, you can see my names of letters. 


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Yazan: Temmuz 16, 2013 in Uncategorized


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